WORKSTATION: 8 Nigerians Talk About The Most Bizarre Conditions Landlords Gave Them

Sometime last year, a picture of a document circulated on social media detailing the pre-conditions a landlord in Port-Harcourt gave potential tenants who intend to rent his apartment. Bizarre as it looked, that picture represents the lived experiences of a lot of Nigerians who have had to put up in rented apartments. 

At the workstation the other day, this came up in our conversations and some of my colleagues actually shared some weird experiences of theirs at various points in their lives. If you’re very conversant with rental issues in the Nigerian house market, certain stories will no longer surprise you.

However, our workstation conversations motivated me to talk to some Nigerians about the most outrageous demands landlords have ever made from their tenants. 

Ranging from hilarious to plain ridiculous, here are responses from 8 Nigerians about the most bizarre conditions their landlords have ever given before renting a house to them:

 

GOODLUCK, Lagos:

(Commenting on Facebook) My friend who was my flatmate at Adekambi Taylor Ogba before I relocated to the Island, brought home a heap of paperwork that were agreement documents, courtesy of his next apartment and his new landlady…who insisted that he needed to sign undertakings that indicated that:

— He was not Igbo.

— Must not bring various women home.

— Your friends cannot sleepover (I think for more than two nights).

My friend, a guy who is indigenously from Onitsha, ezigbo nwa otu, signed the agreement knowing that he would be forced to communicate in fluent English for the next one year.

 

KINGSLEY, Onitsha:

On the first day I met my landlord, he asked me to swear in front of the agent that took me there that I was not going to sleep with his daughter.

Bruh, really?

I swear. I thought it was a joke but he insisted that he would not sign his own part of the tenancy agreement if I didn’t swear. I swore on my grandmother before he signed the documents and let me pack in. 

But did you…

Of course I didn’t sleep with his daughter.

 

EJIRO, Abuja:

He insisted that after paying rent and rates, you must then submit a letter of undertaking to be of good behaviour with your profile attached, it must be certified by the Police station within the neighborhood.

Wow for real?

Yep. Secondly, he told me that when I moved in, it was his duty to know why I wasn’t home after a while. And that if I was going to stay away for more than one day, I must inform him first or he would report to the Police.

 

CHINEMEREM, Enugu:

In my old lodge, every new tenant must take the landlord out before parking in. After you park in, your parents or guardian will also take him out.

You’re joking?

For real o, he termed it “orientation lunch”, where he will intimate you on how best to get along well in the lodge and in school.
Wow.
Yes o. The lunch with parents was to know them, let them know his rules and that his eyes was constantly going to be on their kids.

JUNAIDU, Abuja:

He told me that I’ve got to register any male friend or relative that will stay overnight at my flat with the caretaker.

Hian. Wetin happen?

He told me “you know this gay thing that is prevalent these days.

No kidding!

For real bro. I left his house for him.

 

RITA, Port-Harcourt:

There’s this friend I have who stays in a flat at Trans-Amadi. The landlord has forbidden babies below the age of 10. If you live there as a lady and you get pregnant you’d receive a quit notice.

Is that even legal?

I don’t know. But even if it were illegal how are you going to enforce it? 

Wow.

Yeah. The last time I was there I even heard he was considering taking only single men as tenants.

 

BLESSING, Lagos:

Back in university, my first landlord told us to only bathe once a day. Said something about water usage affecting electricity tariff. 

Hian. For real?

Yes o. He said that if we insisted on bathing more than once we could bath outside at night when it was dark. Lol.

So did you—

Victor, no. I bathed whenever I needed to bathe and packed out after the first rent expired.

 

MOYIN, Lokoja:

My friend’s landlord said he doesn’t want to meet/see more than 2 occupants in the room irrespective of the circumstances.

Hian!

Yeah right. Reason? Said he doesn’t want to “harm the house”(not his exact words) i.e, he believes the more people in a room(constant noise and presence) the house is likely to fall apart. Lol I don’t blame him, he’s an old man and it’s probably his only property. Location: Anyigba. No surprise there.

___________

 

Do you have any bizarre experiences with landlords? Do kindly share in the comments section below.

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