Workstation: Landlords’ Nightmares

In case you have been wondering where I have vanished along with all my office gist to, I have just been up and about my national duties as a patriotic 20-something-year-old Nigerian is required to do. The khaki life has not been easy and frankly I would really not mind doing without the “…under the sun or in the rain” part of our NYSC anthem.

Anyway, I’m back to the office again and the gang at the workstation are still stuck in their old ways–servng banters over light work schedules. This afternoon Khadijat tells us over lunch about a drama she saw playing out in her estate during the weekend. Apparently, the recalcitrant tenant had violated every estate rule and had dishonoured half the clauses in the tenancy agreement he had with the landlord. On this particular occasion, the tenant broke down a wall in the house to create more room for a house party arrangement. I know what you’re thinking. “Ment”, right? Right. 

Anyway, we spent the rest of the limited lunchtime talking about tenants that overstep their statutory boundaries. I promised my colleagues I’m going to write about tenants and their typical wahala, and so I have made a shortlist of the types of tenants that landlords absolutely hate to have:

Instigators:

Ikorodu Martin Lurther King, we see you.

These are the self-appointed freedom fighters and Tenant Union Leaders. They are ever so quick to rally co-tenants to a mini protest to the landlord about stuff that may or may not be real issues. From a tenant’s point of view, this is absolutely a good thing. However, I can imagine how much of a headache these types of tenants would be for landlords.

Party Animals:

Every time, birthday bash. E no dey tire you?

These are the tenants that turn your home into a club every other time. They always have a reason to throw a party. Birthdays, pre-birthdays, anniversaries, whatever fickle reason they find, they invite friends over and buy buzz and turn up the music; bringing your walls down while being an absolute nuisance to other tenants.

The Callers:

Edakun, settle your problem yourself nau.

The tenants with very questionable dispute resolution abilities, who ring up the landlord’s phone at the slightest infraction with a co-tenant. Someone parks in his space? The landlord’s hotline blings. He’s also the tenant that calls every time the paint fades off a wall in his flat.

The Large Family Man:

The landlord rents a flat out to a man and all of a sudden the man has his wife, his 6 kids, his nephew from Okene, and three of his cousin’s children living inside of the two-bedroom apartment with him. They end up populating the drying lines with so many fabrics that other tenants have to wait till much later to do laundry. 

Rent Defaulters:

Ogbeni, where are you running to and where is my money?

There’s absolutely no need for any description here. No one likes a habitual debtor, and no one sure enjoys chasing tenants around town to recover rent from them.

 

That’s it, guys. If you have any other categories you would like to tell us about please let us know in the comments.

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